The Best "TASTE OF KERALA" in South Mumbai

Statutory Disclaimer: This is not a work of fiction, and any resemblance of animals and birds described herein to you or any of your near and dear is the only fiction in here!

If you are among those for whom an eating joint where you cannot lick food off the table isn’t good enough, please go no further! If you do still, blame me not!!

Sinner Speaketh: I start with a confession – that I eat anything that is served on a plate, looks good and, does not move! That said, sins washed away, let me jump right to the ‘meat’ of the matter!

The Location: Tucked away a lane parallel to DN Road, Mumbai, behind Citibank, just 400 m from CST station and 500 m from the RBI is the easily missable, Kerala speciality restaurant “Lalit” aka “Taste of Kerala”. Let the tag of ‘Restaurant’ not confuse you! It is as much a fine dining restaurant as Mumbai roads are ‘driveable’!

The Vaastu: It has two ‘floors’, which is a Mallu businessman’s definition while converting an old single-floor building with marginally more head height than that needed for a single floor! I have been there about 20 times, with 19 being on the 2nd floor! Ah, that reminds me of ‘head banging’, a ritual there!

19 times of 20 I have done IT there! No, not IT as in IT what you dirty minds think, but IT as in ‘banging’. Sorry again, I meant ‘head’ banging, lest Faisal ‘mouthshuts’ me for such liberties! Reason is not that I like Metallica or any such (M)icas! Just that the top floor has a height of 5’8”; so if you are any taller, enter ‘respectfully bowed’. Else, you may just lose a few inches of ‘head’ as well as brains, if they happen to be co-located (no such losses of the latter hence, in my case!). The top floor has a 50-50, not the biscuit kind, but AC and non-AC sections in half each areas. The AC is split-tingly cold to a fault, so find a place not directly in the ‘line of fire’, unless you were born in Ladakh and had Yak milk for breakfast!

Hygiene, Water et al: It is not amongst the cleanest and cheapest I have been to. It would be safe for most of you to order mineral water, unless you possess lead-lined tummies like I do proofed from such mundane issues! The cleanliness levels are just passable, so don’t rub you white-shirted elbows in ecstasy (at whatever!) on the tables!

The Staff: When a Mallu runs a cheap eating joint, if you are half a foodie, you would know that the money is where the taste is. Staff is a remote priority. So don’t try your Mallu accent at the staff, as most of the Tier II staff (plate/glass boys) are Nepalis! The ‘order-takers’ though are strictly Mallus, and respond enthusiastically with guidance to suit your needs, if you even start showing that you are not too Kerala-travelled. And for God’s sake, cut that up-nosed query if things are cooked in ‘Cock-a-nut Woil’, they may well be!

Menu: The 2nd best thing about the place is the menu, which is in English, is laminated and states facts. But that is not to say you will make out the difference between a “Kakka Roast” and “Kaada Roast”, unless you ASK! There are abundant numbers of veg, egg, fish (shell-fish as well as uns(h)elfish!), chicken, mutton and more! Take your time deciding the main dish.

The Food: The best part of the place, its raison d’ etre, is its food! Unbeatable in these parts of Mumbai for Kerala cuisine is what I conclude, after 20-odd visits here and at least twice to every other in this part of Mumbai. Brought warm/ hot, with quick replenishments, the fare is a gourmet delight. If you want to savour the true variety of numbers for a budget rate, visit on weekends, for lunch, and order the “Naadan Sadya” or the “Festi-Meals”. If you really have it in you, you can order side dishes of non-veg, but take it from a voraicous carnivore, the veg fare is so heavy and various that you will need a carry-on tummy for any more! Until I got bored and stopped, there were about 15 different things served on my banana-leaf! Lest you feel this was a typical case of a ‘simbly Mallu’ gone berserk, please know that my Gujju wife exclusively orders this at lunch every single time we go!

My Recommendations for the 1st Timer: Close your eyes and order the Appams, Idi Appams and Porottas (please note, it is not Paraattaas!), at the same meal, and reduce the numbers of each, for a true experience of ‘all in one’. For grain-lovers, try rice or biryani. The veg fare isn’t an ‘Authority Zone’ with me but for the ‘Sadya’, so I’ll just deal with the meatier matters for the A la Carte tips! Order a fish made in local style, a chicken roast/ Kerala curry and/or Mutton curry (ask for minimum bones!). Don’t even think ‘Dal’ or ‘Paneer’; you are in Mallu-county, pal!:) Order at most two dishes if you are proud of your size, I mean, appetite-size! It is best to visit here in a group of 3-4, wherein you can order all the stuff and eat them too!

Ask for the ‘Day’s Special’. I can personally vouch for the ‘Rabbit Roast’, the ‘Kakka Roast’ (mussels) and the ‘Kaada Roast’ (quail), having demolished almost two full villages of these species by now, there! And do not forget to wipe it all down at the end with a ‘Sulaimaani’, and watch the pleased grin on the waiter’s face at having met a true connoiseur! If you don’t know what it imples, don’t worry, it isn’t anything that a Sulaiman produces, so wait and watch!

Cost: To give you an estimate, for a voracious and certified glutton, I would say you can’t eat for more than Rs 400 per head, by any stretch of imagination or execution! My last bill (for self and wife), consisting of an order for 8 Appams, 1 Kakka Roast and 1 Rabbit Roast came to just Rs. 420.

The Final Call: This is a place for those in love with Malayali food and who are ready to forgive minor peripheral errors for a true culinary experience. I would give it a 4.5 star, but in consideration of my friends with ‘ambience, decor’ etc adding to the score (frankly, I’ve never even noticed whether the place has any of those!), I rate it a 4, for Value for Money and original taste. Family, couple, friends – any combination goes, as long as all are hungry! Try it once, and, you may take my guide or the waiter’s; but my bet is that you will return, irrespective of whether ‘Mummy’ does or not!

Adios & Bon Appetit!: And when you do, please don’t forget to come back here and tell me your thoughts! After all, food reviews are best eaten & judged, and it takes some good words from you all to make those like me not just enjoy eating, but come back and write after a heavy, ‘full’-filling meal, like is guaranteed here! So go on, and let the thoughts flow!

Ciao
Shyam

This KAHAANI runs on 3 things - Vidya Balan, Vidya Balan & Kolkata

In a Cine Hall after Ages. If you thought I was a film critic, seasoned and mature, No! I'm neither! But I know a good film when I see one! So, after about 10 months, I entered a theatre to watch a film, finally. Settling in with a Subway & Juice, it took me a while to come to terms with new age tech! But then, once the lights dimmed and the National Anthem was done, the Kahaani took off!


Story Line. Aaj kal ke film teen cheezon se chalte hain... Vidya Balan, Vidya Balan & Vidya Balan! And yet again, here is a 2-hour Vidya roller coaster which does not leave one with any doubt about the lady's acting prowess. For those still not plastered with the storyline, after every single RJ bragging over it since 9th March 2012, it is about a woman who lands from London into the throng of life called Kolkata, searching for her (missing?) husband! And the lady is Vidya B, a cross between Tamil punctuated Hindi in Bengali land and an acting pro post graduating in sublime and subtle acting genres, while every bit retaining her yumminess even when hobbling around hugely pregnant!


The Pros. Once done gloating over acting skills now going global under the initials of VB, one starts to realize the brilliance of cinematography - from the plain crowds of a metropolis, to the very common, but unobserved sights of everyday life in a bustling city; to the haze that the world becomes when one zooms in to the level of an ordinary human being. One starts sighting the goodness in someone as commonplace and ignored as a policeman; of the radiance that the smile of a young boy can bring; the derisive laughter of a common-motel receptionist at mention of 5-star comfort; 'running water' in its most basic avtar, the enthralling and gripping melodrama and suspense that just playing with lights and some shades of colour can render to a movie watcher, and, some more.


Kolkata, despite the heat, sweat and grime coexisting with the millions, starts to throb with a life of its own, much similar to what we are used to in a more brazen manner, at the financial capital. A tight storyline, which may lead one to believe the story has been uncovered in the first 10 minutes by one's sheer individual 'Agatha Christie' brilliance, but slowly and steadily, grips and retains the hold all the way. When one gets to blink from the incandescence of VB's acting, one notices the truly professional realms in which the other male stars also have shone - the Maa ka Khan, the Rana Inspector, Running Water and even the contract killer with the deadpan aam aadmi look! Everyone unites as one in uplifting the movie to enjoyable heights of performance - solo and as a team. The music that hums in the background is never too loud, the tone just right; the colours, even when bright red, seem so right; the tenor of the ikla chalo song plays on the mind 'long after it is heard no more' and Amitabh Bachchan resonates all around from the walls, as you leave! What more can one ask for! No skin show, no frantic pelvic thrusts and dances and no unnecessary item-breaking fight sequences - these further give a touch of reality to the already real street life and throbs of Kolkata.


Cons. What can one say that was bad, or, could have been done better?
There certainly were a few glitches that stood beyond reason (even as innocuous as thanking 'Honorary' CM of Bengal, rather than 'Honourable'; of a 'Captain' introduced in the beginning turning into a 'Colonel' at the end!), but none that cannot be passed off as 'typical Bollywood'. Yes, the last 5 minutes could have been a trifle less melodramatic and Bollywood-esque, but guess one has to give that to the Director.
After all, if the general audience doesn't find any connect at all to a movie like Kahaani being Bollywood fare, the BO results may well tank! And infrequent watchers like me would never help break even! So, such minor "Ahem"s may be passed through, I presume!


Recommendation. Shyam says, Go Watch It! For Vidya, for Kolkata, for Red& White, for Durga Puja and just for the sheer passion that every one of the cast brings to the table, watch it, and on the big screen! And until the last 5 minutes land you 'Plonk' back in Bollywood, even forget you are watching a Hindi movie and just lose yourself in the plot!

Yeh ek Kahaani Hai, with a twist every 10 minutes. Don't even bother trying to "Go Figure"; just flow with the plot and you shall come out humming "Ikla Chalo Re"!
And, on having made a good movie-goer choice!


My Bet. Best Actress & Best Cinematography of 2012 for this one! And many more tourists to Kolkata!


Kahaani ka ..... The End!


Ciao
Shyam

NITYA SAGAR RESTUARANT, Regal Jn: Good Food gets No Cheaper hereabouts!

Romance on V Day. Valentine's Day takes on a wholly new meaning when kids come into the scene! And if they are all of 10, it takes on different hues too! So, on 14 Feb 2012, Miya Beewi and Bachhi decided to hunt for as-yet unexplored terrain for dinner. The conditions were simple - good food (read 'non veg'), proximity to our home (which meant only South of Marine Lines) and inexpensive, with good ambience definitely getting a few points if coupled with all the above. And the location above drastically cuts down on the number of options available with the cost factor counted in, for PLUs (People Like Us!)!

Homing In. The trio finally homed in on a new place that had opened up at Regal circle, next to Cafe Royal and Dave Brothers, the camera shop. The name "Nitya Sagar" first didn't make the grade with us, with first impression suggesting it was a veg joint of the Udipi kind! Not our choice for such a night when hunger was fanning molecular explosions along gastric passages! Then came the Menu Board, which said "Chinese, Indian, Continental, South Indian.."! Oof, another of those, which just wanted to lure folks in, and had one cook throwing up whatever he could, tasting similar, but responding to different names! The place wasn't really an Opera House either, with a total capacity of about 40 at a stretch! Some raw plywood lining one side of the counter, a new TV box on one glass wall and too may waiters hovering around the 6 people seated at the 8 tables din't really help in boosting the image of the place or to promise us paradise within and beyond those glass doors. But risk taking was our family middle name, and we entered!

Menu &The Order. I love doing things fast, and one of those that qualify is skimming a menu, which empowers me within 30 seconds with decision-making ability whether to sit or run. And this one has a simple (looking) Menu card, which yelled "Sit". Nothing on the cards cost more than Rs 170, as a rule, and started at Rs 70 a soup. We went berserk, which is a polite way to say we all ordered our own dishes separately. The pitfall, despite the euphoria, is that I end up having to polish off all the plates, since the enthusiasm in my wife and daughter are highest when ordering, with it at half-mast when starting to eat and vanishing when they are done with a quarter portion! So when they ordered, I did my stretches. At least, the imagination didn't need to be stretched, the budget would be met! So here is the list of the A La Carte with "The Tall, Dark Bloke Pays" writ all over it that night!

Tomato Basil Soup (Spanish way)

Greek (Chicken) Salad

Tandoori Pomphret (decently sized)

Chicken Barbeque

Fish and Chips

Chicken Teriyaki

Yes, that was for 2 persons (wife and daughter equated to ONE!)

Freebies. Perhaps V-Day, or perhaps again, newly opened; for one of the two reasons, we were given a plate with 5 choco-coated strawberries on arrival, first. Or perhaps they knew a beneficial target (human dust bin) when they saw one. And of course, white and red heart balloons for the kid, which kept her entertained for a good 45 seconds, before going off again with "Bhoookh"!

My Favourite "Water" Call. I love doing this whenever they ask "Sir, water, mineral or Regular?". I always quickly respond with "Regular. Mineral se pet kharab ho jayegaa" :) And this guy smiled a big one at that! Anyone who appreciated my stupid sense of humour is a hot favourite with me, you see! :)

Ambience and Decor. Nothing much to write home about on these counts, which means "Dont go here on a first date if your date happens to be Page 3 material". The decor, glass walls and all, were just getting into place, and the finishes are perhaps being funded through ongoing business. But cleanliness and fresh air were easily discernible.

Presentation & Taste. The cream in the Greek salad was broken and thick, more like curd. The Teriyaki could have been a shade darker. Those are the cribs upfront. The rest was blissful. The chicken barbeque is something I recommend for sure, right at the beginning. If you don't lick your fingers at the end of it, the only reason would be that you wear gloves! The pomphret tandoori was made-to-order-spicy and after personal selection of the victim by yours truly. I could also see a couple of giant crabs and lobsters being displayed at the next table to a 'foren' couple who seemed thrilled. The presentation would score a 3.5/5 on an average; would have given a 4, if it had been sans the Greek salad cream. Overall, taste scored a 4/5.

Service. The waiters were raw, but clean, quick, dedicated and smiling. There was a feel about the entire place that everybody was eager to please, looking to grow. At multiple times through the dinner, they came around to check for "Comments", and were very receptive of suggestions/ criticism, and always thanked at the end of the chat.

Dessert. Space constraints prevented rounding off with a dessert, but the fact also was that they didn't have any 'wonders' on the menu in that department! Just the ice cream, gulab jamum, gajar halwa routine!

Budget. If someone had listed the above dishes to me, and given away the location, I would have easily said "Rs 1300". But the gross, including taxes (which is something I love, when rates on the Menu are full-and-final) came to Rs 980! That is simply IT! A whole huge and stretching dinner for sub-thousand!

Shyam Says. Go Right In, if you value the "taste and cost" balance, with decent ambience and decor thrown in with great feel and spirit. Don't try your luck here if you are looking to blossom romance, unless both of you are confirmed foodies. And go easy on the Yank accent darlings, if you want the best service! :) I am willing to bet that you don't get such good food at such rates anywhere within a mile of Regal Junction. And that is a self-certified foodie saying that!

I would recommend the Chinese and Tandoori cuisines, than the continental, personally, though it would take another 2 trips and more dishes to be conclusive on that one! And a place like this one deserves patronage to help it grow, for sure!

Do let me know your comments if you have been there, or, on the contents of this "Intro" :)

Ciao

Shyam

Johnson's Shampoo: ADULT-Rated Use of Baby Stuff - Try It 2 Believe!

How about some ADULT-Rated Action early in the morning?

It all started with a thought “ What is good for children can’t be bad for Adults’! Well, I’m not about to create any flutter with new Gyan on moral or other tracks, but just being consumerist and washing my hair in public. Whatever is left of it, that is!

I was in a situation recently where I was medically told to not wash the head! Result was,after a week, I felt like a cannibal at the top of my anatomy, and decided to break the law! That was the easy part. What proved the Acid Test was how to get my head and hair back to its former not-so-bad clean shape. To say “Flakes, dandruff and muck reigned (literally) over my thought processes” would be to put it scratchily and truly!

The Options: I had three options, readily available at home. HLL -made and Shahid-Kapur –endorsed ‘Clinic All Clear A/Dandruff’, the Ayurvedic ‘Himalaya Herbal A/Dandruff’ and the old and typically child-linked ‘Johnson’s Baby Shampoo - No More Tears’. For the more discerning reader bent on Ceterus Paribus (other things remaining equal) criteria, all were 200 ml bottles in hard plastic (the shapes held no attraction to someone whose primary concern was a no-scratch scalp!). The MRP - Rs, 115, 100 and 120 respectively. I am aware of 2 other market-shakers called Head and Shoulders & Sunsilk, but they weren’t available with me. Further, I understand they are similar to All Clear, in composition and other aspects. Treatment shampoos (eg: Selsun) have not been considered.

Maine Kya Kiya: I had always voted for the Adult-rated two at home, for the occasional scrub to ensure my wife still stays near me! My experience (purely personal) in the wash and after (and here, I talk of the Head category) was that both cleaned dandruff and left the hair clean, if massaged well into the scalp, left for a minute or two (if your work and traffic-to-office permit) and rinsed off well. Side effects were that while All Clear left me like Shahid (Haha!), but with extremely dry hair and hardly the girl-following, after using the generally detergent-kinda-smelling product (its detergent based, it says on the bottle!), the Himalayan effect was nice smelling hair, generally a lower level of cleaning and a minor running nose and cold-ish feeling (maybe my sinusitis reacts to it). Armed with the intent to resort to either of these, my eyes did caress the cute baby-bottle of my daughter’s J&J en route. And like the apple that did IT to a certain Newton, the ‘Good for child, Good for Father too’ thought cracked my brain cells. Ensuring a closed door (wives can get nasty seeing the hubby living it up with a kid’s thingy, you know!), I changed tack, track and shampoo, for the first time in my adult life, to a children’s shampoo. Back then, I certainly wanted ‘No More Scratches’, Tears or Not!

Week Ending Results: Let me put it in the shortest possible form. No dandruff; only Clean Hair. And, No More Scratches. But no sooner than my exit from my first experience and my wife knew I’d dunnit, behind her back (Sounds like infidelity eh?)! Wonder why she wasn’t amused, despite my baby-smelling hair! But give up, I never do. So, the crux of the Week Ending Results is that my wife, me & kiddo share the same shampoo now. It was that appealing, effective and fragrant an experience. Further, it has knocked the shelf clearer by 2 bottle-widths (guess that can mean a lot in Mumbai flats!)

The ‘Green’ Cause: I am aware that I won’t find favour with advocates of ‘Natural’ products with my rejecting the Himalaya(n) Ayurvedic shampoo. But, a bath which ensures you don’t regret later is a real good bath. Maybe, it’s more ethical and safe to use Ayurvedic products, but there is also some such thing as comfort and relief, which you only realize when you have crossed that bridge!

Compositions: The not-so-particular reader may ignore this bit. It’s all about formulations, included since I happened to have them on the label and since they may interest a chemistry-enthusiast reading this (and enlightening us) - comprehensiveness of review, you see!

All Clear : Sodium Laureth Sulphate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Dimethiconol,Zinc Pyrithione, Detergent-based, Life: 1.5 yrs

Johnson’s: Sodium Laureth Sulphate, Polysorbate,Sodium Lauroamphocetate,Benzyl Alcohol, Surfactant-based, Life 3 yrs

Himalaya: Tea Tree, Sandal, Lemon, Rosemary (who's that?!)

What Ifs: Now, I shall devote some words to elaborate my thoughts on the comparisons between Ayurved and Other-(va)-ved!

- Its has so many chemicals. Won’t it be bad for our health, using J&J’s shampoo?

:I have always (that’s about 30 years plus) heard “babies use J&J products - shampoo, talc, soap etc. I am yet to personally see or know of any kid who has had it bad due to this use. So, if it is OK for a small infant, can it be all that bad for us, who aren’t kids but act like them, at times? And I am sure, with the Pepsis and Co. making their way within us in these times, it won’t kill faster!

- Does it actually remove and prevent Dandruff?

: It does, and I’ve seen it happening, in 3 washes flat. And ever seen a child scratching the head due to dandruff, despite occasional head wash with a so-called ‘baby shampoo’? Guess it may not be the prime concern of the shampoo or its makers, but that it also does seems an add-on!

- Eye irritation, perhaps?

: Guess that’s why they named it No More Tears, targeting kids. So, unless you have lachrymal glands that have been repressed for too long, chances are, you won’t cry, either! If you do, what are Consumer Forum courts for!!

- Recent hullabaloo about Baby’s Products being not for babies etc?

: Frankly, I haven’t been into much research. And despite any new revelations, I will still use J&J for my kid, ‘cos its been here a long time now, and nothing drastic has yet happened in India. It’s my take, but I prefer to avoid the sudden spurts of vested or other ‘breaking news’ on established products. And remember, I am recommending it for adults, not kids! Whether your kids get to use your shampoo - now, that’s your call! I am just sharing an experience of a Product which I had, liked & adopted. Cos Its MS &I like my pals in here a lot, to keep silent!

Bus, ‘The End’ Batao: The End is that Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, also named ‘No More Tears’ actually cleans hair, removes dandruff, is OK with the eye, doesn’t leave the hair dry (but silky smooth and soft), and, it leaves you smelling actually like a cute baby (now, Objection to use of that adjective may well be sustained by the Court, if you insist!)! And, it really doesn’t mind your not being a baby!

Akhir Hum Bhee To Bachche Hain!

That now is a true-life review, and you can still go right back to your Himalaya, Sunsilk, Hibiscus, Besan or whatever else, if you so desire!

Would be a pleasure if you rate this, and add your comments, thoughts and experiences!

Let's All Let Our Hair Down!!

TRAVEL PLUS Mag: The 4th Best Thing to Do with 75 Rupees!

Hospital beds are incomplete without 2 things! No, not a mattress & a pillow, but, a patient (could be better if a partner too was allowed!), and, a book! I filled 50% of that criterion recently, but the other 50% was vacant. So, I asked wifey to get me one..not a partner, sillies, but a book! Little did I realize that my plea was so (im)passioned, until she walked in with 4 magazines (I stopped buying books to end my library, from where books only went out, never in!). 2 were regular Business Somethings (I love the look on visitors’ faces when they see one in my hands & the subsequent awe with which I’m beheld) and the 3rd was on Gadgets. Before I opened my cribbox, wifey said “It’s free with one of the others”, nipping my budding lecture on Economy (our family’s, not Bharat’s). The 4th looked glossy & was thicker. Could it be that wifey had got me one-of-those, which I-hoped-it-was?

Aah! The first thing that struck me was the girl-in-bikini-on-beach-chair, fingering her aperture, of the camera in her hand! Hungry eyes prowled higher (up the cover, guys!) ere I noticed the name– ‘Travel Plus’. Looks promising, I told myself, eager to begin exploration only after the wife left, lest she suspect my concentration on fine print(s) within! That was until I saw the price – Rs.75 now). I read again. The figure didn’t budge. “What the heck, 75 bucks for a bloody travel mag on pricey destinations?”, I voiced my concerns to the Finance Minister. “Meine socha…” quipped she. I could instantly think of at least 3 things I could do with that denomination, to better satisfaction. But, scared of foregoing precious visiting-hour gossip, I ordered myself shut. When I was back in the company of I, me and myself later, I pulled out the subject of my earlier curiosity, hoping for hidden ‘jewels’!

First Shot: Page 1 held a smiling (kinda good looking) lady in a floral shirt, with “The Art of the Matter” below. Probably an intro on the centrespread, I thought. Then I saw “Editor’s Letter” scrawled on top, which rudely woke me to the first realization that what I held in my hands was a Travel Mag, and not a you-know-what!

Elizabeth Eapen- Ah, my country cousin, I ascertained Editorial origins! Not without a bit of disappointment, I started to read her words. I decided to hate her after the first para (Oh she would hate me!), born out of my inherent dislike of Editors who spewed 8-lettered words in 80-word sentences. Why don’t you KISS, I wanted to ask – Keep It Simple, Silly! But whether the big word gallery depleted or sense prevailed, the rest of it was relevant, material and competent (a la Perry Mason!).Neat fonts, blue signature and a box of ‘Editor’s Picks of the Issue’ added a certain likeable difference to Page 1.

Flip Thro’: Most right side pages seemed to be ads, though I can’t blame the relevance or quality (of ad text and photos) but only the quantity, which partly accounts for the higher thickness, apart from good paper quality. Onmy way back to Page 1, the left held promise (unlike its politi-afficionados in my state) – colourful, crisp and eminently readable.

Brass Tacks: Armed with a comforting sense of presumed content quality, I set down to peruse what Ms Eapen had on offer, probably about places where the high & mighty could fly to! I had to nod in recognition at the Contributors’ page, replete with their mugshots. This, as I later could confirm, gave a more personal touch to the articles. But I hated one of the 3 on the bottom panel – the international from NY. ‘Nothing at NYC escapes Lavina’, it said! Big Deal! And I’m best friends with the Big B! Ha! All others on the page looked human, with interesting intros.

I liked the variety. From actual destinations (in Outlook Traveller style, but greater detail) to travel infrastructure, flight and rail updates and the latest pieces of international and domestic news on travel, it had ‘em all. Every other page had a so-called ‘Hot Deal’ - of fares, packages & discounts. Though some were indeed ‘Hot’, the degree of Heat of others remained suspect and a lil Cold! Guess they had to count up 20 deals, so part blame could be rested on Google!

Apart from detailed travel reviews with spectacular pics (Nik style) and phone numbers of hotels, what struck me was their consistent tips on suitability for family and kids. The destinations were international and domestic and, the budget and range, varied and useful. What if it also featured ‘Cruises on Onassis’ yacht’, at a few crores - nothing prevents Herr Beckham too from being brought this same mag by his wife, for hospital reading!

Regulars: There were 2 pages of “Best of the Month’ activities with dates and details. Locales were as varied as Gujarat and Guadelope! I didn’t resist the smile, seeing 27 Aug showing one Mr. Ganapati (looking quite comic on 1 leg and, 4 hands resembling a cross between hands of Hema Malini and a traffic cop) and a brief on his annual immersion!

2 pages on ‘Good Buys’ featuring Camera, Sunglass, Perfume et al is best avoided. (Read Vinayak’s reviews in lieu). I preferred to watch the Rahman ad on the right side, on World Space radio! A page on ‘Quick Fix’ (nothing on glue) was great, with complete itinerary solutions in answer to readers’ specific queries. A ‘Travel Log’ by the inimitable Jug Suraiya provided humourous food for linguistic thought and funny bones. 2 pages of ‘City Update’ focussed on London, NY, F’furt, Ah’bad and K’kata (don’t ask me the criteria, I don’t own India Today Group!).

That Old Issue: A piece on Ms Eapen’s family tour to Kaziranga in off-season made good reading. The Hot Deal of Rs.900 a night per couple was too good (with BF), especially as she recommends “take the jing bang along” under ‘Family’. Whether she meant kids or steel utensils, I leave it to you!

Ace snapper Ashok Dilwali’s ‘Photo Essay’ of mountain goats was breathtaking, simple and natural. A piece on junk food in Bangkok was tasty, mouth-watering and filling (JK listening?). For Gizmo freaks, there’s some masala, as also a list of 5 useful travel sites.

Rear End: 3 pieces feature in its ‘End Notes’.

(a) People Like Us – Wonder what it was all about! Compulsive column filling, or, boredom at being away from NYC and in Delhi on vacation, among PLU!

(b) Humour – There’s some. But largely, he rambles on about US Rules on banning some bric-a-bracs from flights. Guess he had a bad long-haul sleep onboard!

(c) Last Stop - An interview with a desi dude settled in denmark and who’s torn (!) between being an aam admi on bicycle and Mr. Seen-All, who claims he’s ‘run out of new things to taste’! Ha! Try modesty, maybe it’ll taste different!

The End: For 75 bucks, it packs a lot - entertaining, colourful, varied content & well written being some. At least it has many things for everyone, if all issues are such! But wonder why semi-nudes are on every cover, though I’m not about to crib on that!

I’ve for sure added Travel Plus as the 4th good thing I could do, with that 750 bucks (with or sans the semi-clads)!

...and, thank wives for small mercies!

PS: The edition mentioned dated back about 5 years, but the impressions and views remain the same even today!

Blood Donation: Create a Blood Relative - Quick 'n' Easy Guide !!

Hey, ever been to an ICU, and, not as a patient?! I have, once, about 6 years ago! What an illuminating and hilarious experience! Think I’m off my rockers? Read on, and see if you still feel so. But then, the topic is an offshoot, and a Bloody Red one at that!

The Occasion: I’d been in hospital, “Couldn’t find much good red blood” in me, they said! To spice up, a surgery was ordered! Problem! The hemoglobin (well, he’s the one who brings in the ‘Red’s to any layman blood) was so low they had to look real close to see the red on the glass slide! Lo n behold, enter the Blood Bank, and pint units of frozen blood. Now all that was left was to pour this ‘good red’ into my ‘Red, eh?’ and the table’d would be set to carve me like turkey!

Unfortunately, the nurse in my ward had the noon off. But then, a coupla beds happened to be free, in the ICU! “Let Thy Venue Change” was decreed and I was all set to grace an ICU bed!

The Way We Do It: ICUs see folks brought in – horizontally, vertically or some other ‘ally’, but hardly would they have opened doors to a smiling young man (with ‘patient’ neither an apparent status nor a major trait in him) in T-shirt and colourful shorts walking..rather, sauntering in, with a ‘gait’ spelled as ‘gaeity’! I could even select my own bed – one with a view! Some humour, small talk and fiddling-with-recline-controls-of-the-bed later, we settled down to business. Rather, I settled down, to let them conduct business, but not before analysing my prostrate & actually-Intensively-Cared-For ICU-mates! One, an oldie with not much of Pathology left out of his case sheet, another with more bypasses than arteries flanking his sanctum sanctorum (that’s medical for heart!), a 3rd unable to make out differences in body fluids lost, by colour or any other attribute and with 2 tubes going up from his body (not without reminding me of Catch 22) and the 4th, a poor sod who had a certain coloured brew and rode a bike (that’s bad in itself, but hold on..) onto an electric pole he believed was a short cut from MG Rd to his first floor bedroom. Now, if you think I’m sadistic or comic, it’s ok. Just couldn’t figure out another way to have you read so far without logging off, cos, this past is vital for the future I’m to describe.

Pumpin’ The Reds {pron. TransFusion, like the kind that finally happens in hippie-druggie-drinkie-lots morie rave parties): It was a quickie I’d with the nurse! The petite bird cutely painting spirit on a male arm, poking a quick needle (more pain on her face than I felt), taping the gizmo in place and connecting up the umbilicals to the Red once-frozen-now-thawed pack above. In 20 sec, this Comradely fluid was making its way down, into more familiar abodes of human vein.

Now What?: When blood is transfused, generally, the receiver (no, not the ‘phone’y one) is unaware/groggy. Here was one with 3.5 hrs to go, with just tubes, near-human forms and a recliner-control for exclusive company. I discovered the addiction of staring at a fluid dripping (would Newton have become famous, if it were a drop rather than apple?) at a steady rate! Then I studied the full wine-redness of its colous (of drop, not Newtonian head) and brushed up basics of viscosity, which makes a drop a drop, leaving home.

That was, until matters turned bloodier, livelier and redder. “Whose heart must have created these drops?” I wondered. “How did this life-giver end up in this pack, leaving its warmer home and flowmates?” “Would every receiver be so lucky as to savour such ‘origin’al and deep thoughts or be dependent on the blood itself to resurrect their thoughtmaker?”.

A tinge of proud moisture lined my staring eyes, in reflection of the multiple times I’d been at the other end of the tube, giving; of the many cities, times and people when me and my pals had dunnit, often persuading ‘lookers’ to turn ‘givers’, never contemplating the powerful magnitude of the deed. The known Clubs, the Defence fraternity & the Red Cross - those who organized the Camps were known for highest safety standards, thus dispelling any thought of threats or pain.

The Factfile: Donating blood involves lying on your back, enduring a millisecond of pain, a 10 min wait for blood to fill a pint-packet, and a bit of ‘plaster’ing on your arm. Refreshments follow, then a 2 min pause, and you are ready to go! For who can and where, links below will help. The quantum donated is made up in a couple of days, with no extra effort. Personally, I’ve dunnit at 10 am, played a soccer game at 4pm, walked home and, lived to tell you this! The joy and gains are beyond words. Then, imagine the emotions when you are faced with a true-life situation as above, when you are at the receiving end!

Rev Me Up More, Please:: Would you donate a cuppa blood if I were your bro/sis//dad/mom/hubby/wife/kid/fiancé(e)? If NO, well, donate to charity then! If YES, you’ve your reason. It actually may help one of them, sometime, cos most Red Cross folks give you an exchange card which you can redeem in need. Remember, ‘the hand that giveth the rose…’? But then, roses never saved lives, at least, male ones!

The End?: I do it ‘cos I care. All those I know who do it do it for the same reason. Multiple ‘giving’s and 2 ‘getting’s later, I’ll leave you with this true thought – Donate Blood, It’s the Fastest, Safest and Surest Way to Create a Blood Relative; and for once, they will be just grateful and never ever crib!

Donate Blood! Who knows, maybe, some day, you may well be your own blood relative! Kya?

Until then…. adios amigo, and, Lal Salaam!

Would be a pleasure to hear your comments on this subject!

Useful Links:

http://www.youandaids.org/About%20HIVAIDS/Blood%20Safety/index.asp

http://www.indianredcross.org/sb.htm

Mel Gibson & Me, in The Attic @ God's Own Country :)

Well, Mel Gibson and me both had fun. We were both satiated, and delighted with our performance. We thanked our hosts profusely and appreciated the lovely time we had - he with himself,

and me, with my wife and kid! If you are still wondering what went on, read on !

Sunday evenings are the best eat-out days in Kerala. People simbly love to indulge for lunch and stick on at home in the evenings. So, when confronted with the option of such an evening (the time being 8 pm), when all the rest of Cochin was at home, and a new restaurant 1 km from home to be yet checked out, I went weak in the knees. Before we (wife, kiddo and me - in increasing order of appetites!) could say "Where", we were on Marine Drive (the poorer cousin of the more famous sibling at Mumbai) - standing below "The Attic" . It says "Continental Cafe for Steaks", in small red lettering, outside a longish window displaying a quiet, warmly and dimly lit interior, a floor above the road, at the Taj end of Marine Drive.

Opening the glass doors leading the stairs up to the restaurant ( could be classified as a cafe, going strictly by the capacity - of 40 ) filled our noses with the wafting aroma of warm and freshly baked bread , with the scent of steaks, sans the smoke! A quick walk up (part due to curiosity and rest due to hunger building up) saw us in a homely, warm (the feeling, not temperature; unless you call 23 degrees warm), lit-but-not-bright joint with high backed wrought iron chairs and thick glass tables of shapes as varied as square, rectangle and triangular (must appreciate their sense of utilising the space, by resorting to such shaping). Most tables looked out on the quiet night outside, with the new concrete malls of Cochin on the other side of the road lit up on account of the festival of Onam. One Captain and one waiter were all we spotted at the place, but both with million-rupee smiles and, genuine! The best part was that we were assured of a quiet dinner, with just one other family being around.

Picking tables has always been the daughter’s right, so we ended up on one directly below the AC! When it got really too much, we got it switched off when she was busy checking out the cleanliness of the glass windows!

Without much ado, we went through the comparatively small menu (about 40 dishes in all, including sea food, chicken, meats, mocktails and dessert). For once, the decisions were made faster than the pace of gobbling down grub!

Shrimp cocktails and a Khus mocktail ( it had a name sounding like a Goan lady, with no offence to both! ) to start with. The mocktail was a green affair with khus, lemon, Sprite and ice cubes, with a mini umbrella thrown in for company! The shrimp cocktail was like a liquidy salad with mayo and orange the colour of the thingy. But after that, all conversation stopped . The three of us devoured the dish in less than 4 minutes. The best appetiser I have had, for sure. Yummy, tangy and great - that is all I will say. To the veggies, I will only say " You really dont know what you are missing ".

We ordered Arabian Chicken (chicken wings looking really spicy, but hardly so, in warm and delicious garlic sauce, served with 4 slices of warm garlic bread) and Meat Pepper Steak (with all the jing bang of mashed potatoes, french fries, cabbage, carrot, beans..the works). When I tell you both were among the best I have had ( my other favourites being Sundance at Churchgate and Taj ManSingh at Delhi, and another joint at CP, for steaks ), don’t think I got carried away by taste. Of course I did , but they were Rrealll Gggood (much better than Godrej’s frozen chicken by the same name)!

Hold your keyboards till I get to the bill!

Shop Talk: The Captain was quite thrilled with our collective sighs of appreciation, arising at regular intervals. This, and anticipation of a healthy performance-linked-incentive brought him closer, with a Visitor’s Book . Placing the book before me, he deferentially whispered as I thumbed the previous pages " Sir, Mel Gibson was here too ." And, if books don’t lie (actors may!), he had a whale of a time too. I saw a Mr and Mrs C Eastwood, but then can’t swear it was the famous one (anyway, does he have a Mrs?). There was some smattering of Chinese and Arabic too, on some pages! Seeing me write almost a review in there, he knew he would earn a raise.

"Sir, where do you work?". With my best accent, I said "The Navy". "Oh Sir, you should have told us. We offer a discount of 10%". I didn’t quite understand, and said as much. "Bills are made in the end, so you can well do your thing still!", I offered, financial prudence rearing its old head for the first time this evening.

"Sure, sir ", ...he disappeared.

The Cost Factor: Including the VAT, ST and the works, the bill came to Rs. 315! If you aren’t feeling delighted enough ( Oh I forget it was I who ate it all, and you are just drooling !), check the quantum and variety again! I would have gladly paid 500 bucks without second thoughts for the evening’s affair. After all, bhai, we had eaten where Gibson Shibson also ate, no?!

Aakhir Yeh Sub Kyon?: Good question! A restaurant in the middle of Cochin (though you forget that, once inside The Attic), and where you don’t work/stay. Well, folks, Gods Own Country is fast making it to the top of the charts in Tourist circles. And, no trip to Kerala goes without a trip to Cochin. So, the next time you are here on business or pleasure , or, when your friend visits for a (or, is it more politically correct to say " THE ") Honeymoon , don’t ever miss this place. This is Cochin’s best fine dining restaurant (as fine as it gets), for the rates, the food and the decor.

And if you are saying "In Cochin we will eat only South Indian, no?", wait a couple of days, until I bring you to date on the Best and Cheapest in that genre too! Hum Hai Na!

Until you get to taste this aspect of Cochin, Happy Drooling, and you can spew all that jealousy and anger in the comments section! Bon Appetit!!

Credit Cards - Any Day, but for Free!

Time was when people looked at Credit Cards with the same expression as they would trading on the stock market – a path bound towards doom. But despite a huge credit card base, even today, many apply for, obtain & use credit cards with scarcely any knowledge of its inherent advantages & disadvantages. This review is aimed at those in the above genre, so that, like Robert Kiyosaki (of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame) would say, they can “Make Credit Cards work for them". If that grips you, read on. If not, you have already cleared the level where you need this information!

Let us start by understanding that Credit cards are a money-earner for all banks. They are in it for their profits, not your convenience, as they would like you to believe, courtesy their advts. But, you can make it a thing of convenience!

Take a Master or a Visa card, which are the most common. There also are Diners’, AmEx etc, but unless you are a high-end earner, you don’t need their add-ons. So stick to simple Masters & Visas. The key banks offering these cards are ICICI, Citi, HSBC, ABN Amro and StanChart, as also all our old banks like SBI, CanBank etc. Though the services of the latter group are fast catching up, the former still top the charts. A little now on how to use the Credit card (CC).

Usage and Payments: Crux is, when you pay by CC, you get to keep that amount of money in your account for a longer period. You need to pay back your dues within the last date specified in your credit statement. Now, this is where the Bank makes its money. Say, your due is Rs. 10K on your bill for 21 May – 20 Jun. The Bank gives you an option to pay a minimum amount, say, Rs. 500. You take that bait, and you join the list of card holders at the bank’s mercy! The Bank charges you a hefty rate (upto 2.5% or so) on the balance unpaid amount, right upto the time you repay the whole dues. That’s called rotation, where you end up rotating in the end!

If you pay using CC all your compulsory expenses, which you would anyway have paid in cash, in that month. The Bank sends you the statement by snail or e-mail. If you are the procrastinating variety, you wait for the last date of payment before depositing a crossed cheque in the nearest drop-box of the Bank. If you miss the date, again, you are charged a late payment fees. Now, this is another tricky situation. All these fees like late payment, interest etc are charged a further ‘tax on fees’, which amounts to about 12% or so, as per Govt rules.

So, how do you meet the deadline, pay only on the last date & not get charged for more than your spend? And, maybe, get some gifts in the bargain? Its simple, really! Make out a crossed cheque the day you receive your statement, date it for the last date of payment indicated, and drop it in the box! Let the Bank hold your post-dated cheque & wait for the last date. That’s what they are paid for!! Mind you, be sure to have sufficient funds in your account & not get into cheque-bouncing games, ‘cos thats a costly bargain these days, in case you didn’t know!

I’ll give you a spreadsheet of features & You can do the comparison. However, in order not to breach protocol, I shall surely suggest my recommendation!

First, the opening charges. Answer is, just don’t pay. Logic: At almost every petrol pump, you will be flooded with CC promoters, who give you everything free (even if they aren’t authorized to, often!). So why pick something which fleeces you even before you start off with them?!!

Next, annual charges. Again, you don’t need to pay. Logic: “If I take a new card Im not charged for the 1st year. So why should I, as a good old customer of your bank, be asked to pay in my second year? I’d rather take a new CC from someone else” Or, better still, “If there are other banks who provide good service and still don’t charge annually, why should I pay up?”. Chances are, you will still have the same card the next year, but be 350 to 1500 bucks richer by virtue of your 2 sentences! Now, the credit period. This is the period which you get, to pay back all your outstanding balances. This varies from 45-57 days. The longer the better. Customer Service too is vital in. Call the helpline numbers and check out responses. If they arent quick & eager with new customers, guess their response with existing ones!

Reward Points, wow! Look at it this way. You shop. The seller lets you pay after 55 days& only the exact amount, no interest. He gives you a gift worth Rs 2 on every 100 you spend.You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out you’d be there every time you could. That’s exactly what you get, with a good CC. In my 7 yrs of being a CC holder, I am yet to pay any taxes, fees or interests. I spent only what I would otherwise, and paid up in full, everytime. Guess what the Banks did for me? They hiked my Credit Limit from a measly 25k in 99 to a comfy 1.5 L in 06. I swear, I never needed more than 30K for any billing cycle, this too having been during a wedding shopping spree, where someone paid me cash and I got the rewards. The banks ended up giving me useful gifts worth about Rs. 10K, till date. I redeem online, from their catalogues, and it gets delivered home free, in 2 weeks. Could you ask for more? Well…Yes!! Co-Branded cards are when your bank partners an airline, fuel company or a combination. eg: ICICI-HPCL card lets you tank up at HP, charges you only your spend sans taxes, gives you double reward points for that buy and, hooray, pays you 2.5% of your fuel bill back, every single month!Conclusion is, Credit Cards can only be a boon, and a big one at that. Personally, I am hooked on ICICI-HPCL Gold, since 7 years, and don’t think I’ll now part.

IMINT/ Payback: You may have heard or seen these, in relation to Credit cards. These companies do management of the redeemable points, and have tie-ups with multiple firms/outlets, where you can use the accumulated points to pay for purchases. You can also redeem the points online at partner sites. Don't believe? I have just redeemed my 3-years' accumulation and have got fuel vouchers for Rs 2500! Meaning, I have paid for everything by Credit card for 3 years, paid the dues after a 45-day 'free' period, and then, for that, they gave me 2.5K worth of free fuel! Wow, could it get better?! ICICI Cards had a tie up with IMINT, which has now been changed over to Payback. (Mrs Fanny Chakravarti, does that dispel some doubts? :))

Go Ahead, Happy Spending, at Bank’s expense!!